I'd first like to thank you for finding this blog. My goal for this blog is to allow myself a space for creative expression, which may come in the form of poetry, essays, open source programs, songs, or unpolished musings both from my voice and personal experience, as well as fictionalized personas. The goal in this is to speak honestly and from the heart, as all good writing should be honest. However, do not expect this to be an autobiography of all my personal opinions. Once again, I thank you for your time and considerations.
-Devin
The Companion Soul
The Companion Soul finds meaning in life not from duty, nor the completion of great deeds, nor from silent contemplation and subtle musings, nor acquisition of wealth or power. The creation of great works of art or science or music or literature do not pull at the thoughts and heart of the Companion, for those are the desires of the scientist, the musician, or the author, and the Companion is none of these. The Companion Soul is guided by a passion to truly know and understand those who inhabit this world, in the hope of being truly known and truly understood. Friendship is noble, and trust and intimacy are ideals that are so rarely reached but so often longed for.
The Companion Soul draws energy from those who enter his life as leaves draw life from the sun. The leaves do not drain the sun of its warmth--the warmth is freely given, and allows the flower to thrive and bloom and sustain its roots when the sun is not present and the air turns cold. So does the Companion find warmth in the company of friends, and sustenance in conversation. The people of the earth are as grains of sand on the beach--one cannot hope to touch them all or recognize the worth of each individually--but we are blessed with our own time, and in that time the Companion wants to learn from whom he can, and build a home of friendship wherever he may find himself.
The discovery of a new person that the Companion Soul feels drawn to is invigorating. Imagine ancient sailors discovering a new land for the first time after weeks at sea, and the exhilaration that follows from the realization that there is more to this world that we knew.
Meeting someone new who lights the spark of curiosity and interest within the Companion Soul for the first time is fascinating. One feels as if he has been living comfortably in his home for years, where the contents of all the drawers, cupboards, and shelves are well known. Suddenly, this new person comes and shines a light upon a corner of the room where darkness had always pervaded. Out of the darkness it is revealed that the house contains a locked door to another room, not known to have previously existed. He desires to open this door, not because he knows what lies behind it, but precisely because he does not. Conversation is the key, as it has been the key to opening and closing many doors in life throughout the ages. Conversation with this new acquaintance opens the door, revealing the everyday objects contained therein, or perhaps something larger and much more beautiful that was waiting until these moments to be revealed. The impact another person can have on our lives is limitless, and the Companion Soul feels he is a constant clay that lives continuously on the wheel, ready to be molded and improved. He will leave his mark on others as they on him, and through friendship all of our lives are enriched. Friends are the constant North Star that keep us from being lost in the darkness.
Truly knowing another person and allowing them to know you is the deepest intimacy one can achieve. It is often spoken of but rarely accomplished, and the knowledge and implications of this fill the Companion Soul with sorrow and vexation. To truly be known by another person is to stand naked before them with the markings of your hopes, fears, flaws, uncertainties, loves, and prayers carved into your nakedness, inked onto your chest in sweeping letters. The intimacy of showing your whole self to another, and the trust required to do so, is so overwhelming that the Companion knows he may go his entire life and never find another soul, or God willing, souls, that this can be shared with.
There are large obstacles that prevent us from understanding another person, and more that prevent others from understanding us. To be understood, one must truly have nothing to hide, and must not feel the reservations of shame. This is extremely difficult, and can only be achieved by living a moral life devoid of vices too powerful to be shared with any outside of your own heart, or by living completely amorally so that shame and embarrassment hold no meaning. While one hopefully strives to minimize vice and live well, it is the tendency to protect oneself with privacy that leads to this blockade of openness. This prevents you from freeing yourself to be seen for who you are at your innermost self, and these self imposed chains are no less real than physical restraints.
While the Companion Soul hopes to be able to share himself with another (or anothers if life extremely generous), this intimacy will not be offered to everyone. It is one thing to be generous, open, and honest with those whose lives enrich your own, and begin with small, strong foundation to eventually build a castle of love and friendship. It is quite another to dwell within someone else so that your heart pumps the blood of life through their veins, and theirs to yours. Most good, important people in the Companion's life will never be the exact match that elicits this desire for him to share himself fully, and for years the Companion Soul may be mostly contented to have many friends whom he cares for deeply, while still hoping the compatible person or persons will reveal themselves in time.
This level of intimacy gives true meaning to the Companion Soul, and when achieved brings greater contentment and joy to life than any other pursuits could achieve.
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