Sometimes the best stories are true (embarrassing) stories. When I was in third grade, we got our first quarter report cards back. Mine had the usual grades; S or S+ down the board. You weren't allowed to get A-B-C grades until you were a grown up (read: 5th grader and higher), so S meant Satisfactory, because why not?
However, to the right of our grade cards were spaces where each quarter, the teacher could write a few comments in the margin. Mine happened to say that while I was a good student, I also acted quite often as the class clown.
When the report card came in the mail, I opened it up, read the grades and comments, and merrily waited for my parents to come home so I could show off. "Class Clown!" I thought. That must mean I'm funny, and people must like my jokes and antics since even the teacher thinks out of everyone in the class, I'm the funniest. Why wouldn't I be thrilled?
Well, when Mom and Dad came home, they were less enthused, and my glee turned to dismay as they explained that this did not mean that everyone found me funny, but that I instead goofed off and needed to mind myself and be a better student (we all know some of those S's should have been S+, yeah?).
In any case, I've always enjoyed making people laugh (and the ensuing awkwardness if a joke just doesn't land as you intended). I really enjoy listening to stand up, and there was a fleeting time when I thought this might be a great career path (though I didn't entertain that notion for too long, since I realized it isn't all it's cracked up to be). Plus, if you can't already tell, my comedy heavily relies on an audience's eager desire for puns.
However, there is one type of comedian in this world I will never aspire to be, as it is the lowest form of comedy....besides Jeff Dunham. Of course, I'm talking about the Elevator Comedian.
This happens all the time at work. You get in the elevator with a large group, and that one guy or gal decides they have the perfect elevator jokes that nobody's heard before. Let's just pretend I'm putting out a cd of Elevator Comedy's greatest hits, with such classics as:
1. [elevator has almost every floor pressed except 6] 6th floor anyone? Going once, going twice??
2.[someone in back of elevator tries to get off and you need to move around them] Care to dance?
3.[all buttons pressed] BINGO! and/or YAHTZEE!
4.[elevator is packed] Wow, are we clowns in a clown car? Where's the circus?
Yes folks, there are much more, and I have heard all of these in my life. Let's just all make a pledge together to never be that man or woman making the lamest jokes ever to be funniest-elevator-goer.
-Devin
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